You May Be a Taliban If...

"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a
moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket
launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but
consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof
and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared
Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely
carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have
uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what
you've done with your cave."

10. You have nothing against women and think every
man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or
not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

At least no one drew a cartoon to go along with this.