Tuesday, January 15, 2008

PSH From the University of Chicago

The University of Chicago's newspaper, apparently channeling Bugs Bunny, calls itself the Chicago Maroon.

Well, there's one Maroon named Zach Werner writing there who says:

The District of Columbia’s ban on handguns should be copied, not killed,and then expanded, enhanced, and enforced

But, that's his summary, let's see how he gets there.

Step 1: Establish credibility. In this case, he says:
Last quarter I left the United States to study abroad in Paris. To my surprise, this experience taught me as much about our red, white, and blue as it did about theirs, pâté de foie gras notwithstanding.

This poor kid starts out qualifying himself by claiming a summer in Paris? Oy vey. Can "roll over and expose my soft white underbelly" be far behind?

Step 2: Frame the debate.
So what was the news from home? It was bad news. More specifically, it was murder.

Then list a few high-profile murders (Local, VT, Nebraska, Colorado, etc).

Step 3: Assign blame for step 2.
First, the gun lobby loads the bullets, then angry young men pull the trigger. The government, meanwhile, fails to provide sufficient regulation

The gun lobby loads the bullets. I bet you impressed yourself with that one. If it weren't for the gun lobby's efforts and the lack of government control, those guns would have had to be loaded by a person. Nice.

Step 4: Propose a solution. Of course, I started this with the author's proposed solution. Ban all guns. Here's how he gets there:
Time and again, the courts had decided that the founding fathers saw gun ownership strictly as a “collective right,” necessary solely for the maintenance of a “well regulated militia.” The individual “right” to own a gun did not exist.

Of course, he provides no examples of "time and time again", because there are none.
Last year, however, this enlightened precedent went by the wayside. In a highly controversial 2–1 decision, the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit ruled that a local law banning handguns violated the Second Amendment.

Enlightenment is a result of thoughtful deliberation over time, not "because that's the way we've always done it." At least, that what my progressive friends say. The precedent was not enlightened, it was oppressive, racist and not what the founders intended. A little reading (search: Madison) would make that apparent to you.
It was wrong, the Court declared, for the city popularly known as the “murder capital” (and with a basketball team formerly named the Bullets) to deprive its citizens of handguns. Downright un-American. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of a lethal weapon.

Ok, let me get this straight: DC bans guns. DC, according to you, is the "Murder Capital". How can that be, if guns are banned? I'll tell you why - criminals don't obey laws. I know this is hard to grasp, but it's true. Gun bans only apply to those who obey the law. Oh, and the rest of that quote is just stupid.
Here’s the problem: The wording of the Second Amendment is so ambiguous that it is all but impossible to determine the founding fathers’ actual intent on the gun issue.

No, the problem is you can't make and argument for collective rights because of the way the Second Amendment is written. More tot he point, you can't defend a collective view. As to the founders intent, see above: (search:Madison)

So what should the Court do? Respect D.C.’s right to decide for itself. When locally elected representatives determine that their streets have seen enough shooting, the federal government should not step in and second-guess.

The Federal Government is being asked to step in, it's called the judicial system. You say the locally elected representatives have seen enough shooting, tell me, what should they do? Ban guns? Didn't work. What now, ban guns harder?

The genius of the Second Amendment is its vagueness, its adaptability to the needs and conditions of different times.

You just said it was a problem, what's up with that?

And times have changed. The age of state militias is over.

You say that, you obviously don't know what a militia is.

The age of anxious young assassins is here.

Those are called criminals. They've been here since the beginning of time (see Cain and Able).

Each day in the United States an average of 32 people die due to gun violence. That’s equivalent to the massacre at Virginia Tech, every day.

In contrast, the NHTSA says over 116 traffic fatalities occurred each day in 2006. Just sayin'.

The District of Columbia’s ban on handguns should be copied, not killed, and then expanded, enhanced, and enforced. If modern times afford us the technology to track and license weaponry, modern society should put this possibility into practice.

So, here we are, full circle. The young Maroon wants us unable to defend ourselves from those who disregard the law and wish to do us harm. He also wants the government to have more control over our lives.

If you ask me, he's not a Maroon, he's a nin-cow-poop.

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